Trevor Phillips: Mr Colostomy Bag

Trevor Phillips: Mr Colostomy Bag

Life is busy, very busy, so busy in fact that it seems that I missed this story about one of my favorite New Labour cronies:

Britain's top anti-racist official apologised "unreservedly" today for making a 'joke' about the late Queen Mother's colostomy bag at a dinner. ^{[1] Times}

Yes the clown that everyone loves to laugh at; Mr Trevor 'hypocrite' Phillips:

...he recounted a memorable conversation he had with palace officials before he danced with the Queen Mother at a ball during his student days.

"There was a clearing of throats and shuffling of feet," he told diners.

"One said, 'Mr Phillips, I need to share something with you. When you're dancing with the Queen Mother you will have to lay your hands on her'. I said, 'Yes, that's what happens in dancing. But I'm not going to grope the Queen Mother'.

"He replied, 'You have to be careful where you put your hands. You have to be careful about the colostomy bag'." ^[1]

Thank you Mr Phillips for that, but how did your audience react to your 'witticism'?

Mr Phillips paused for laughter but his joke was met with gasps of horror. ^{[2] Daily Mail}

And what did your audience think of your attempt to speak semi-intelligently in public?

"I stared into my plate in dismay.

"It was ill-judged, ill-advised and totally bad taste." ^[2]

Wow, you really wooed them there Mr Phillips. If only a true jokesmith, such as the late great Bernard Manning, had been around to offer you a few choice words on your efforts.

What ever could have been responsible for this pathetic attempt at 'humour' crawling into Mr Phillips intellectually challenged mind?

Perhaps because that every morning when he wakes, and takes his first look of the day into his mirror, he sees his own image, a living, breathing, human shaped colostomy bag.

Or to put it rather more crudely, and I don't really like to swear, he sees a bag of sh*t reflected into his face, staring into his own eyes.

Oh, by the way Mr Phillips if you happen to read this, then, in your own words, these comments were not meant to cause offence to anyone. ^[2]

Referenced in this post:
[1] The Times, 2007 June 18th
Phillips sorry for 'joke' about Queen Mother

[2] Daily Mail, 2007 June 18th
Race watchdog forced to apologise over 'bad taste' Queen Mother joke